Dog days of summer...

Summer just isn't summer without:

Your pint of Cass...

Your green tea gelato ice cream...

Your selection of fine sushi...

A delicious, steaming bowl of...

....dog soup?!

A field trip to the local zoo with an army of squealing children in tow.

Summer Days

Technically, summer began in late June, just after I recovered from my second attack of pneumonia. My girlfriend had left earlier the same week for her 5 week stay in the USA, hosted by the University of Maryland, in Baltimore, where she was visiting with 3 other Korean students from her nursing program. She had a wonderful time there, touring art museums, celebrating the 4th of July, going to baseball games, and visiting Philadelphia and New York, where she got to lounge on the beach and see the statue of Liberty. She even crossed the border to Canada briefly, to get the good view of Niagara falls (a landmark I haven't seen to this day).

Meanwhile, I recovered from a lingering cough just in time for the onset of the torrential downpour season. Some days the rain started well before dawn and just didn't stop. The rain would gush out of the sky as if through a giant sieve, and my valiant little $5 umbrella that I had purchased at the corner store was next to useless as I splashed my way to school in the mornings (at least I wasn't driving a scooter- Jared practically had to gargle his way to work and back). So I started to see the sense in the seemingly paranoid behaviour of Koreans totting giant umbrellas around, en mass, in weather that could hardly be called a drizzle. Koreans (at least the big city residents, which is most of them) live for the most part as if they would rather that "weather" didn't exist.
On a related note, I also made a purchase for the first time from one of those itinerant vendors who pace up and down the subways cars, hocking their wares; you name it- pipe cleaners, arm warmers, classic rock CD collections. I had promised myself long before that I would never buy anything from them, mostly because of the way they holler in your face on a packed, but otherwise respectfully quiet subway. However, I couldn't resist the guy selling the packaged ponchos - he was even taking a second hit to his dignity by sporting the ridiculous thing inside the subway, which I found oddly inspiring.

I finished administering exams and writing report cards for my 80 grade 4 and grade 1 students at the end of June, only to find out in July that the administration was just getting ready to up the ante with even more endless meetings to deliberate about the content of summer camp and tackle the ensuing prep-work. Originally, I was to prepare lessons for movie day, but when they decided to scrap Jared's cooking class, on account of potential "dangers", they did some brainstorming and shuffled around the teachers again, the upshot of which was that I was asked how I would feel about teaching Magic day.
So I said sure and leaped into the thing whole-hearted, determined to rekindle my passion for illusion and sleight of hand via Youtube and a deck of cards. I nailed enough tricks to keep the kiddies entertained and my afternoon magic class turned out to be something of a hit- the kids loved learning the secret and trying to replicate the illusions themselves. They were awed and slightly horrified by the antics of David Copperfield being sliced in two by a giant laser, and proceeding to bounce across the stage, his torso "holding" onto his bottom half. They also got a huge kick out of this priceless short video of a goofy David Blaine impersonator who has overestimated his magical prowess, to put it mildly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkjTeN6jGTk&feature=related

I started preparing my class of grade 3 students to perform a magic show for their parents at the end of the two week camp, which was last Friday. I soon realized that I would need to script and and film the performances of my students with my digital camera, which could then be projected on a screen above the stage for the children and their parents seated in the gym. Aside from the lousy audio and my shaky camera work, it went over reasonably well. Other highlights of the afternoon included a full length Musical ("Dream On"), an adorable girl/boy rendition of "Somewhere Out There" with awesome air guitar, a science of bubbles show, and a presentation of famous biographies (including a who's who of ancient Korean generals and royalty, along with an surprisingly eccentric selection of Western luminaries such as Mozart, Van gogh, Pascal, and some entomologist dude I'd never heard of before.
Camp days ran an hour longer than regular class days. We were even required to eat lunch with our students, as well as complete plenty of extra prep-work and evaluations to boot. On the bright side, the weather proved sunnier for most of the camp, and there were some good times, such as movie day (Coraline, a recent claymation movie based on Neil Gaiman's cheerfully creepy kid's book, was a hit), the field trip to the zoo at Children's Grand Park (Polar Bears!- 'nuff said), and the chance to witness my first solar eclipse with a bunch of equally amazed kids!

I'll have pictures to follow on the next blog, but for now I'm off to get some brief shut eye before heading off for my flight to Australia tomorrow morning, when my holidays start in earnest. I'll be sending my greetings from the Southern Hemisphere soon!

You know you are an ESL teacher in Korea when:

10) Owning merely one hand-held electronic device qualifies you as a luddite.

9) Just about anything edible is rumored to be an excellent source of “stamina”.

8) Nobody's pet dog would stand a chance against your tabby cat back home.

7) You catch your students humming the cheesy (English) chorus of the most recent K-pop hit.

6) The trajectory of a sober pedestrian is almost as predictable as that of a drunk one.

5) You stop taking your “double-eyelids” for granted. (See: most wanted surgical procedure)

4) Every time you call in sick, your boss sends a reconnaissance agent to your appartment.

3) You walk into a “barber shop”, "cafe", or "karaoke parlor", only to discover they aren't in the hair-trimming/coffee/singing business.

2) You are no longer puzzled by trendy t-shirts featuring cryptic English slogans, such as: “Down with the King?” and “Choose Juicy”.

1) One decade after the release of Star Craft, elementary kids who don't otherwise understand a lick of English can still be heard at recess, shouting in spot-on American accents: “Your base is under attack!” (Var: “Your face is under attack!”)

Making changes

It's about time I turned over a new leaf. I've recovered from the second attack of pneumonia and the interminable cough. I've started jogging around the neighborhood, as well as swimming two evenings a week at a local university—Samyuk, where cheap cafeteria dinners are an added bonus. I returned to CulCom last Saturday for Korean language lessons, for the first time in three months; Wonsuk, my new teacher, is quite fluent in English, and I'm planning to meet him during the week for extra practice. I might even take up Taekwondo, although that will probably have to wait until I get back from my trip to Australia next month. (I can't wait to see you Carla, and Bonita!) I also need to start reading before bed again; no more zoning out to epilepsy-inducing youtube videos (although it has been a source of considerable philosophical inspiration lately). Finally, as fate would have it, I've picked up an old hobby: magic. I was assigned to make the lesson for Magic Day for Hwarang elementary school's summer camp, two weeks from now. I should have just enough time to perfect a few simple tricks.

And another thing. I have to start writing, and not just more of the same. I'll continue to document snippets of my adventures in Seoul, but its about time I fulfilled the promise of this blog's title. Not that I want to burden my (few) readers with every little neurotic dialogue that crowds my mind— however, I do have a lot to say (some of which may somehow be of value to someone, somewhere) and I've been holding it in for too long.

There have been two things holding me back: one being my constant insecurity about puting my thoughts into words; ideas and feelings so often loose their luster on the page, and I despair when I fail to do them justice. The second thing holding me back is my insidious elitism—in this case, an unwillingness to identify myself with the proliferation of verbal diarrhea that is the blogosphere. To me, the web often seems to magnify the worst in humanity, revealing us for the small-minded, attention-seeking, fearful, and vain creatures that we are. What do we do with this miracle of high-speed communications technology and ever-expanding resource of information for which the word 'encyclopedic' no longer does justice? We often forget our dreams, and adopt an indolent and harmful philosophy of instant gratification; we corrupt the language and drown out meaningful conversation; we pervert the compelling ideal of an “online community” into a place where we await the next ego hit, perpetuate harmful cravings, reinforce a culture of consumption....

But this is, of course, only half the picture. There is still plenty of room for honest, authentic voices, seeking freedom from marginalization or alienation. The internet enables human miracles on a daily basis, and has made possible the kind of collaborative opportunities that no one previously envisioned. I believe the future is truly open-ended. We always have a choice, to be catalysts of the values we hope the rest of the world will one day adopt, online and off. Speaking for myself, any list of these values would include democratic conversation, freedom of expression, intellectual honesty, tolerance and understanding, and especially, faith in the power of the human imagination. Although I'm hardly the only one who values these ideas—they matter to many others (some of whom are my friends and family) in a way that goes beyond mere words. I view the internet as a kind of testing ground for the integration of these ideas into a quickly globalizing, technologically evolving world.

From Festival to Funeral

Anyone keeping up with the international news these days should already know that the last couple of weeks have been a little rough for South Koreans. The well-liked, populist ex-president of South Korea killed himself by jumping off a cliff. He was under investigation for his involvement in some kind of financial scandal, and the attention apparently shamed him to the point of death. Strangely enough, his actions have made him more popular than ever, with some radical citizens even blaming his death on the current conservative leadership. Also the ex-president was the first and only South Korean leader to visit North Korea; the current government wants nothing to do with the North, including aid.
Which brings me to the second, and slightly more worrisome point. Immediately following the death, North Korea tested a second warhead and formally announced its withdrawal from the peace treaty they've upheld for several decades with South Korea. The wording of their public announcement was deliberately belligerent, not to mention ridiculous, to most people's ears. Most people are unafraid of any empty threats from the North, least of all South Koreans, who've been dealing with them for the past 50 years. But you never know when someone might do something completely crazy. Especially if they are crazy and in charge. Slim chance though.

These pictures are not actually from the funeral itself, but the three day lead up, to give an opportunity to the crowds of mourners bearing flowers or money (a traditional gift at weddings and funerals here) in honour of their late president.

I like some of the funky architecture around central Seoul...
So there's this Architect, right. And he's staring at his sheets of blank draft paper, trying to come up with a fresh idea to impress the city contractors, when his wife walks into the room with a cup of coffee. "Honey, your fly is undone," she says. He starts to zip up, then pauses abruptly, looking down at his zipper. "Eureka!" "You're telling me", she says.